WTF

I am so not sure what to do or how to approch what happened this week. I really just want to say what I feel but am not sure if it will even be heard.  That is the frustrating thing.  But If I don't I will most likely stew about it and it will mess with my mind. *I don't hate you. But if you hate me Ok* what the fuck am I gonna do with that?

Yeah..things just pop in my head

I am so tired.  It amazes me that my body hates me.  I think I got about 2hours of sleep last night.  I had to be at work at 5 and falling asleep was not happening. I really need to find a second job so that I am tired at night so that I sleep.  I wish finding a second job was easier then it has been.  I have to get up tomorrow and take that walk to the other dunks near me and see if she is hiring nights or even afternoons.   So frustrated about work. 

Ehh

So some people just wonder what if.  My what if's...
What if I never find the right guy for me?
What if I never get my feet solid on the ground?
What if I have to do jobs that or not meaningful for the rest of my life?
What if my mum really does kick me out?
What if I really can't make something of my life at 35?
What if someone finally treated me like I treat them?
What if I just want to be happy?
What if I finally think about myself before someone else for once in my life?